baby girl, twist away

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENIE JOO

i hope its lovely. miss you! :)

a journal entry: post #7

feeling: annoyed
location: room
sound: arctic monkeys

(the post where i rant about the bullshit i live with)

people with happy homelives make me sick. the ones with supportive parents and siblings they confide in. it’s unfair. i should have ran away back to new york when i had the chance..

if you’re at all close to me, you know one fact: my mother is a heinous bitch.

i don’t even know where to start. it’s more than just a lost childhood. it’s more than just an asian girl thing. it’s more than first born syndrome. it’s so much more.

my mother treats me like i’m something she can step all over. something she can control. something she can keep breaking down. it’s never good enough. i’m never good enough.

no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, it’s never right. there’s always something. every now and then, i fight back. i try to please, i try to explain, i try to tell her how i feel. but to no avail. i yell, i scream, i cry… nothing. no remorse. no apologies. no love. just a ‘stop crying. i’m your mother. i don’t have to explain things to you. just do what i say’.

yes mother.

sometimes, i just dont understand why she had children in the first place.

i need to get the fck out of this house

i can’t live at home anymore. i need to get the fck out.

New favorite

Curry ramen.. Mmmm :)